11. Recovery?

Song: Placebo - Meds


ELLA'S POV


“Heartbeat stabilised. Breathing returned to normal. She should be waking up soon. One lucky girl,” I heard a voice say.


Where was I? I sat up, my head pounding, my eyes aching as I opened them.

Hospital?

I propped myself up against the pillows as Gina rushed to my side.
“Hey Ells, we were really worried about you,” she said, holding my hand.
“We?” I asked.
“Yes, Jordan and Zach are out in the hall. He called me from your phone saying you were fitting and he was bringing you to the hospital. Ella, we were so worried.”

I’m epileptic. I don’t tell people because I don’t think it’s necessary - “Hi, I’m Ella and I have epilepsy.” No thanks. I have never advertised it because I’d rather not have people pitying me. Oh God. This was my entire fault. I had taken my medication rather haphazardly over the last week and I felt so sorry for Jordan and Gina having to be here. And Zach. Shouldn’t he be back in New Jersey by now?

“Does Felix know?” I breathed.
“No, do you want me to ring him?” Gina asked.
I shook my head. He didn’t have time off studying and interning – and he’d only worry. Mother would treat me like one of her clients, trying to find out the reason why I hadn’t taken my medication. The medication which prevented me from having epileptic fits. Like this one.

“Thank you for being here. What time is it?” I said looking across at her.
“Seven in the morning.”
Christ. I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol talking or the after effects of my seizure which has left me feeling like shit. I’d also peed myself, which has happened before when I’ve had fits. God, I’m such an embarrassment. I was surprised Jordan was still here. A few blinding camera flashes and I suddenly fall, have a fit and pee myself. What a joke.

A doctor came bustling back into my room. “How are you feeling?” I made a face. Did he really want to ask that question?
“You’re very lucky to be here. You experienced a status epilepticus seizure, which was aggravated by a lack of your medication and a high concentration of alcohol in your blood. We’re going to need to keep you in here for the next three or four days to monitor your progress and then we will talk about changing your prescription.” Fuck.
I wouldn’t be able to drive again for at least three months, until after graduation. The laws vary depending on which state you live in, but I knew I was going to be putting away my car for a good few months. I had my Arabic essay due in at the end of the week and I wanted a shower, because I’d peed myself. I looked down at myself. Couldn’t they make hospital wear at least a little more flattering? I’m not asking for haute couture but even pyjamas would be better than the paper bag style gown I’m currently wearing. Added to that, I was linked up to a drip. “To keep me hydrated.” Life just couldn’t get any better. And on top of that I’d wrecked Jordan’s night. He’d had to bring me here because I’d started convulsing.

I motioned over to Gina when the doctor had gone. “Can you call Felix and tell him I’m ok, whilst I take a shower. Can you close the blinds too?” I asked, looking up to see Zach and Jordan’s nervous faces peeping through. I made my way into the bathroom, taking the drip with me, thanking Gina so much that she’d thought to bring me a toothbrush, make up, shampoo and a spare change of clothes.



“Ella, how are you feeling?” Zach said as he rushed into the room.
“OK,” I lied. I didn’t want to worry him by telling him I felt like death warmed up, but that was probably the alcohol talking. I didn’t tell him the severity of my seizure – the worst one I’ve ever had. I’ve been hospitalised before for them, but this one was caused by my own stupidity not to take my medication. I’m only really photosensitive to blinding white light which can trigger a seizure if I can’t escape from it.

“I’m sorry you’re here and not back in New Jersey,” I said, biting my lip.
Zach shrugged. “You worried Jordan a lot last night. For about half an hour it was touch and go.”
Touch and go? I was so selfish. I promised myself I would start taking better care of myself and regularly take my medication.

“Jordan wants to see you,” Zach said.

I nodded, feeling slightly better that I’d had a shower and been able to wash away any last remnants of alcohol. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and tried to look presentable. I don’t know why I tried – I’d pissed myself in front of him last night.


“I brought you breakfast,” he said, holding out a Starbucks bag. Inside I saw a Danish pastry, orange juice, a banana, strawberry yogurt and two slices of carrot cake. He’d remembered the yogurt?! This guy, was a star. Gina must have had her hand in this, especially with the carrot cake.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, embarrassed.
“Gina said you’d be craving it, and I need food too,” he said. Note to self: must thank Gina when she comes back in.
“Jordan, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the end of your night, and I’m embarrassed,” I muttered.

He looked at me incredulously, as if I was speaking Afrikaans and he didn’t understand a word. He moved from the chair and came to sit on the bed next to me. I pulled my knees up to my chest and tried to bury my head. I have the world’s worst headache and I have this cute guy bringing me breakfast – something is not right here. Jordan reached behind my knee and lifted my chin up so I was looking at him.

“I was scared,” he said.

“Thank you for saving me.”

Jordan had effectively saved my life. If he hadn’t brought me to ER I could have died. Any epileptic knows that a status epilepticus seizure longer than five minutes is serious and needs medical attention. Jordan must have freaked out when he saw me on the ground convulsing and probably screaming. I must have looked like I was possessed. I shuddered at the thought.
Jordan shook his head. “Promise me you’ll take your meds next time,” he asked looking me directly in the eye.
“There won’t be a next time,” I said. I explained what the doctor had told me and that I had to stay here for three to four days to see how I’m doing before I can go home. I noticed how tired Jordan looked. Had he been awake all this time? I sent him home to go and get some sleep. He didn’t need me to muck up his hockey schedule.

“I’ll be back tonight,” he said, kissing me on the cheek before he left. Why would he come back? Hadn’t I just proved to him that I was a mess who couldn’t take care of my self? He probably felt guilty.





For more information please look at: http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/about/types/types/statusepilepticus.cfm