14. Blurry Boundaries

Song: FrankMusik - Confusion Girl



JORDAN’S POV


“Friends?” Ella said. She had to be kidding me, right? I looked at the ceiling, pretending I hadn’t heard what she said. Why would she just want to be friends with me? I’ve never had any girls who are just friends. Either a girlfriend, fuck buddy or the puck fucks but never anything platonic. This was a first.

She gave me a hard nudge that nearly sent me off the bed. “Jordan?”
I blinked a few times before looking back down at her. Friends? You only decide to become friends with a girl when you either break up with them and pretend to be friends so you don’t hurt their feelings; or when you’ve had a one night stand and the sex was terrible so friends is a compromise, knowing you’ll never call them again. I might have to ask TK or Max for his advice on this one. Chicks are such a mystery.

“Yeah?” Ella looked wistfully back up at me.“Sound ok?”

I didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t just push me away. No one, no one could resist the Staal charm. I dropped a kiss on the top of her forehead before speaking up.

“No. Fuck that Ella. I don’t want to just be a friend of yours like that Noah guy who’s practically in love with your ass. Maybe we should give this a shot. You and me. There’s no way they can say with those photos that we’re ‘just good friends’ or whatever bullshit we throw at them… So how about it?” I trailed off feeling like a class prick that I’d just said that.

“You don’t have to worry about Noah,” Ella said trying to suppress a laugh. What the hell was so funny? This situation was not funny. Usually I’m the one cracking jokes but clearly she found me hilarious today.

“So…?” I pressed.

“So, what?” Ella demanded, looking at me, still with a grin on her face. That bugged me. I got off the bed, figuring she might want me to stop cramming her physical space. I’d stupidly just put myself out there emotionally and was feeling like such a goon.

“Give it a go?” I said, not looking at her, but finding the drip she was linked up to and the machines by her bed. She made me feel so small and pathetic and I could see the walls she’d put up earlier weren’t coming down. It was like trying to break down a stone wall with an inflatable hammer.

“I don’t know,” she sighed. What didn’t she know? “I don’t need a relationship right now, on top of everything else. Just because they took some photos, doesn’t mean we have to be… together?”
She practically spat out the last word as if it disgusted her. Was she afraid of commitment? I’d finally found a girl I actually liked and could see myself being in a relationship with and she was a commitment phobe? Way to pick ‘em.

She had a point. I, we, didn’t have to prove anything to anyone from those photos. I wanted to be with her, wasn’t that more important? And I thought she liked me? I’ve never been shot down by a girl before, like this. Oh, maybe the flowers and the lesbian incident, but not by someone who was actually straight.

“Fine!” I said, not looking at her, focusing intently on the closed blinds. “Fine,” I reiterated. It wasn’t just fine. How could she just be friends? So what? She had exams and school, but what excuse was that?! I had hockey.

“Can we go to dinner, next week, say Sunday, as friends?” I asked, mentally checking my schedule. Surely she couldn’t see a friendly dinner as a problem. I turned back towards the bed, perching on the end, not wanting to be pushed off again like last time.

“As friends?” Ella repeats, not sure that she’s heard me correctly. I look back down at her, her huge green eyes even wider, before they narrow. Is she trying to suss me out? She’d make a bad spy, she’s about as subtle as Inspector Clouseau. Not very.





“Dinner was amazing,” Ella said. “I should really get out of the city more often,” she said, finishing off her wine. I’d brought her to a busy restaurant west of the city. Here I knew there was no problem with camera flashes, puck bunnies and even if the waitress had recognised me, she was trying to be discreet.

Ella looked incredible. I was having a few problems adjusting to the ‘just friends’ thing but as Max had told me, “Charm her socks off and make yourself unforgettable, like an STI.” Since her incident in the hospital, she’d been to the neurosurgeon to have some sort of electrical treatment and her medicine had been changed. Sadly Ella couldn’t have more than a glass of wine or two per week whilst she adapted to her new prescription which she promised me she was taking religiously.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” she whispered to me as we walked out to my car. My car, because she wasn’t allowed to drive for another three months. It made me feel manly to be driving her around. And more like a date.

“Where to?” I said, knowing exactly where I wanted to take her to. My bed. The backseat would do, if she changed her mind. It’s not like I hadn’t used it before.
“Anywhere,” Ella replied. Helpful.

Without knowing where I was going, I headed back towards the city. I parked on a secluded hilltop overlooking the city. “I’ve never seen this view before,” Ella said, taking off her seatbelt and jumping out of the car giddily. I’ve brought girls up here before, it’s a good place if you want to get in there pants. She sat herself on the front of my car, whilst I leaned against it. It was a pretty warm night for March but I knew we couldn’t be out here long. Coach Bylsma would bench me if I got ill. Ella couldn’t take her eyes off the city light, mesmerised by the skyscrapers across the river.

“You ok?” I asked, glad I was wearing a sweater.
“Cold,” she said. Now I’d have to take the sweater off. Do the chivalrous thing. I handed it to her and she put it on over her clothes. I swear there is nothing hotter than a girl wearing your clothes. Well, maybe a girl wearing only your jersey in bed, or perhaps Ella wearing nothing in my bed. Friends. Just friends.

“Jordan? Mind if we get back in the car?” Ella asked a few minutes later, jumping off the front of the car. I opened her door which I’d been leaning against. Time to turn the heat on. I couldn’t help but look as she raised her arms in the air, pulling my sweater over her head, as her dress edged up to the top of her thighs. I instinctively put my hand out to run up her thighs, but fortunately stopped myself and grabbed the central console and started to fiddle with music. Nothing good on the radio at this time in the evening.

“Ella,” I half-growled, turning to look at her. I didn’t want to force her, but she’d been half flirting with me all night, holding my gaze just that little bit too long, licking her lips, flicking her perfect hair. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was all or nothing.

I leant to my right before pushing my lips against hers. She was surprised but she kissed back. After all her shite about being friends earlier this week, she wasn’t hesitating in kissing me back. I’d say that one (big) glass of wine she had not so long ago went to her head, as she climbed across onto my lap, trying not to break the kiss. My hands moved down from her hair and cheek to her thighs, rubbing on her stockings, pushing up the hem of her navy dress. She let out the tiniest of moans against my ear, telling me I could keep going. I nibbled her bottom lip, sucking it slowly into my mouth before painfully letting it go. Her fingers fiddled on my shirt, with the top button, then the next and a third, fourth, until her hands rubbed over my smooth chest.

I wanted to take her outside and lie her on the front of my car and do her. I could feel blood rushing southwards and if she stayed in that position she’d know about it too. Her fingers threaded through my hair until her lips grazed my neck, her teeth nipping the skin and teasing it between her lips before her teeth nipped the skin. Was she marking me?

She started rubbing herself against my growing erection. I don’t know how long I’d be able to stay with it if she kept on doing this?

“Wanna go in the back?” I breathed in her ear, my voice shuddering as I kissed the skin between her ear and her jaw, lazily drawing a circle with my tongue. Did she have any idea what effect she had on me?

Her eyes popped open as she looked at me in astonishment. She moved back on my thighs towards my knees until she bumped her back against the wheel.

“I’m not a back seat kind of girl,” she said. Too far Jordy. You shouldn’t have pushed her. Cold shower and a wank when I get home tonight, I thought miserably. She quickly moved back to the passenger seat.

“Can you take me home?” she asked, not looking at me, instead staring blindly at the steamed up windscreen.

“Sure,” I replied, turning on the engine. Didn’t she at least want to talk about that? I’m pretty sure we’d just crossed the ‘friends’ boundary. She had initiated the whole ‘friends’ thing - did she now want friends with benefits? But it seemed she had wanted it as much as I had, maybe more from the way she had been leading seated on top of me. And then she just… stopped?! Ella confused me.

Ella slid out of the car towards her building. I’d offered to walk her up, but she wasn’t having any of it. I knew if I had gone up there, I wouldn’t trust myself not to try it on again.

“I’ll call you,” she said as she closed the car door.


Another unsatisfied night. Another box of tissues for me.