43. Advice

Sorry about the delay, I had a few problems writing something that I was happy with. Hope this clears a few things up for you :)


Song: Band Of Horses - The Funeral


JORDAN'S POV


“Max? Gina?” I said as I looked between the three of them as they still sat on the grass, wondering how and why they were both here. They looked a bit sheepish as they looked at each other before looking back at me. Connor was the first one to his feet, walking quickly over to me. Somebody had better start explaining what’s going on here. My head is hurting too much to deal with all of this right now.

“Dude, they just showed up, like five minutes ago then I said you weren’t back. Go and get a shower, you look like shit. Your Mom thinks you crashed at mine,” Connor said quietly. He always had my back. In times like these I don’t know what I would do without him. Connor is a walking, talking lifesaver. I walked quickly down the drive, hoping no one would be around to question me as to why I’m still wearing yesterday’s clothes and look like shit. The last thing I need is for Marc or Jared to remind me of this moment for the next couple of years. And it’s not like any of them are innocent either – we’ve all got our dirt.




I let the hot water douse over me, letting it wash away any guilty traces of alcohol and Cindy. The water wasn’t hot enough to take away the pain of my hangover or the emptiness in my heart that I could still feel. I let my mind drift back to last night and the black void that happened after the second round of shots. Maybe Connor could fill in the large blanks for me from last night? And Gina could fill in all of the answers to the Ella questions I had.
Shit!
Gina must not find out about Cindy last night – I don’t want that getting back to Ella, not that she even cares anymore but all the same, it's a fuck-up I'd like to forget about.

There's been a few of those fuck-ups over the last couple of years - all of them had concerned alcohol. Obviously there's Cindy, the most recent, then there was Lola who quickly became a bad habit. And before Lola there was Mel - the psycho girl in my Biology class who I'd drunkenly slept with to get her to do all my homework. She had then informed my then girlfriend what had happened. I didn't want a repeat of that - there was no way Cindy was going to tell India about last night. Then there were the one night stands, of which I'm guilty of having a few, both on the road and in the 'burgh. I think I've learnt my lesson now not to get hammered off my face and then go home with the nearest thing with tits.



Walking down the stairs in a fresh pair of jeans and t-shirt, I saw Max, Gina and Connor sitting at the kitchen table. Mom had put out some of her fresh carrot cake which only served to remind me of Ella and her love for carrot cake - like the time I’d gone to Starbucks with Zach to get her some after she had her seizure outside Diesel. They were talking quietly, Gina saying something in a hushed voice to Connor who was gently arguing back - Connor’s such a pacifist, I'm surprised he was arguing. As I stepped into the kitchen, Max gave Gina a little nudge and whistled at me. “Someone’s looking fly this afternoon,” he said.

“Funny, it can’t be you Max,” I replied, helping myself to cake. Mom’s cake is the best. Max feigned looking hurt as he pouted, sticking out his lower lip. Obligingly, Gina stroked his shoulder and kissed him on his stubbly cheek which instantly turned Max’s pout into a little grin.

“So what brings you two to Thunder Bay? Just for a visit?” I asked. The longer we sidestepped the issue of whatever it was, probably Ella related, the more awkward this conversation would become. I didn’t believe Max and Gina were on a flying visit off Western Ontario.

“Just in the area, y’know,” Max said. Bullshit. Max doesn’t leave Montreal in the summer unless he’s going to visit Sid or go to the south. I nodded, not believing a word he said. I haven’t really spoken to Max since I left the ‘burgh, so for him to just be here the day after Ella and I break up is too much of a coincidence.

“Yeah sure, Max. Pull the other one,” I said. Max heaved a sigh, rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders before starting again.

“So how’s your foot?” he asked.

“Fine,” I said. In all honesty it was fine now and I’d been to see a physiotherapist on Bylsma’s recommendation even though we’d finished for the year, I still needed to get it looked at. After my final session a couple of days ago and being told to take it easy, I was happy I was going to have an unaffected season next year. I had hated losing my record of unmissed matches by one big blob of an accident.

“So we’re here because we want to talk to you about Ella,” Gina said quietly, putting both of her hands on the table. Max slung his arm casually around her shoulders as he leaned back from the table. It was clear he wanted no part of this conversation.

“What’s there to talk about?” I said, clearly confused. “She ended it because I didn’t make enough effort and we’re through.”

“No,” Gina stated simply, looking me straight on. For someone so small, Gina looked like a tough cookie sitting on the other side of the table. I could take her in an arm wrestle but I bet when she got fire in her belly, you wouldn’t mess with her. I bet Max is under her thumb.

“Ella is hurting, a lot. She’s pushed Félix out, which is strange because as you know, Félix is her twin as well as her best friend.” I remembered the day when I found out Ella had an identical twin. Gina had called him Ella’s ‘confidant’. Gina went on, “she’s not responding to my messages and Félix says she hasn’t been herself. She’s not bubbly, she’s not running, she’s not even playing tennis. Apparently she’s just become this hollow, drifting shell. She’s hurting just as much as you are. I saw both of you in Pittsburgh, you were both so in love, I think she still is.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, it was twisted logic. Why would you finish a relationship if you were still in love with someone? I wasn’t sure I understood, but if what Gina was saying was correct, Ella was still in love with me. If only I could find out whether that was the truth or not, I just needed to know. It hurt me that Ella was hurting as badly as I was, I didn’t feel any justification or happiness from it, knowing that she was broken made me feel worse. I wanted to fix her, put her back together, make her happy and fill her with life. Ella’s one of the most vibrant people I know; I couldn’t imagine her as a ‘hollow, drifting shell’.

“But that doesn’t explain why she ended it,” I said, thinking out loud. Sometimes the more I think I know a girl, the more they mystify me.

“She ended it, and this is what she briefly told Félix – she ended it because she was fed up of not hearing from you. Ella thrives on communication and not hearing from you really hurt her. Even one text a day or every other day would put a spring in her step. Ella likes to know she’s wanted, it makes her feel good. Hell, it makes us all feel good. She was in denial about your relationship, and because you’re now a thousand miles apart, she thought it would be easier to end it, rather than be in a silent relationship. Yes she loves you, I’m a hundred percent certain of that, but I’m not one hundred percent sure that she fully trusts you. And having time apart lets her think about this, the more she thinks about it, the more doubtful she becomes. She over thinks everything. And allowing her to over think things gives her time to draft up multiple reasons why you didn’t call her or text her or even acknowledge her existence for a month,” Gina sighed as she finished, the tension in her shoulders easing as she slouched a little.

I had a lot to think through and I wasn’t sure I knew what to do. I was grateful that Gina and Max were here to help me though fat lot of help Max was doing here.

“Why does she think I didn’t call her?” I said, pushing Gina for more information about Ella. I just didn’t understand: if you love someone and you’re both in love, you don’t just end it. Now that Gina had begun to explain Ella’s complex initiatives, I was beginning to feel that I knew Ella a little more, even if her motives baffled me.

“I don’t know. She didn’t tell Félix that. But I’ve known Ella for a long time – so I think she thought you had moved on or just decided to ditch her the cowardly way. Just out of interest, why didn’t you call her?”

How could Ella have thought I would move on? She’s perfect, she’s smart, she makes me laugh and she’s hot between the sheets. I’m ridiculously in love with her, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Moving on would mean that I had found someone else – someone else better to replace her with. I don’t think there is anyone who could replace her.

“Wrapped up in myself, in my injury, going out to the last seeded Habs, media interviews, physiotherapy, clearing out my locker, closing up my place in Pittsburgh, getting drunk for a week with Tyler after the loss…” I trailed off my excuses, none of which were a valid reason for not calling her.

“Fair enough,” Max said absentmindedly. Gina shot him a look which silenced him immediately and I watched him back away from the table again.

Ha. Max is so pussy whipped.


I remembered smashing my phone, I had lost her number and Max’s and everyone’s number.

“Um, do you have her number?” I asked sheepishly.

“Of course,” Gina frowned. “Shouldn’t you know it?”

Off by heart? Is she joking? I have problems remembering my license plate and peoples’ birthdays to remember anyone’s phone number.

“No, and I broke my phone-“

“-Against a wall,” Connor interjected. I slapped him on the back. Too much, Connor, too much.

“Thanks dude, really necessary.”

Gina crossed her arms, obviously deep in thought as to what to do. I thought back to the day when I had first seen the pictures of Ella and Félix. I remembered Gina telling me she wanted Ella and I to be good together and here she was, helping me to get Ella back. I was glad that I had a friend of Ella’s on my side. I don’t know if Max had talked her into this, or he was just here for the ride, but I felt an overwhelming rush of gratitude to both of them for just being here.

“Anyway,” Gina said, suddenly unfolding her arms and standing up. She went and stood with her back to the sink, facing the table. “You should call her, but you need to give her a week. She’s broken, and she needs to be stronger when you call her.”

“What if by the time she’s stronger, she’s over me?” I said feeling insecure. Ella was hot and I knew in Montreal she could easily find a replacement for me. Everyone checks her out: guys do because she is smoking hot and girls do because they are jealous.

“She won’t be, she loves you. I’m not saying wait a month to call her, a month is too long, you know that. Give it a week before you do. Don’t fly down there, no big romantic gestures, don’t send her flowers, just call her and see how she’s doing.”

“And if she doesn’t want to talk to me?” I asked. I couldn’t see myself being welcomed with open arms.

“We’ll see what happens first,” Gina said. “I don’t think she’s looking to replace you, but this is Ella, she does things on a whim. I’m going to stay in touch with Félix and I’ll keep you updated.”

“Won’t Ella know we’re sort of spying on her?” I replied. There was something about this method that Gina was suggesting that just felt a little wrong - like Ella didn't have her privacy. And there were too many people involved for my liking.

“Nope, she’s got this internship, it’s keeping her busy by all accounts. And Félix knows her better than anyone – he’ll know what’s best and the best way to do this.”

I nodded, helping myself to another piece of cake, knowing that the information was coming from Félix. Maybe Félix would be on my side too. I only met him once and that was when we had that ‘tiff’ when we were playing at the Bell Centre and then he had merely nodded at me. I’m not sure if he approves of me and Ella, but then I’m not dating him, I’m dating Ella.
Or I was.