40. Intern

I can’t believe I’ve made it this far. Originally there were only going to be forty chapters, but now it seems there will only be another twenty more. Everything must come to an end, I’m afraid. I wanted to thank you all for sticking with this story so far, it’s been fantastic to hear all of your comments, suggestions and ideas. Thank you!
On an another note, this one and the next one will be from Ella’s POV, as we all (sadly) know what happens to Jordan and the team against Montréal. I know we all love Mr. Staal but I found creating his point of view really hard for these next few updates.
Sorry for the long note but I just had to express how much I love hearing your feedback for what you think is coming next… just don’t hate me at the end of this. India xxx


Song: Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way


ELLA’S POV


A month had passed and it was now the middle of June. I had barely heard from Jordan since I’d left Pittsburgh which at the beginning I’d put down to the playoffs. When Pittsburgh had been booted out of the playoffs by the Habs, I’d excused his lack of communication to disappointment at losing to eighth place Montréal and his foot. As Félix had frequently told me, “You just need to give him time.” But how much time was I supposed to give him? It had been three weeks since I’d even received a call from him and I just didn’t think this was acceptable. Was I just supposed to sit around and wait for him to call me? Life doesn’t work like that. And it was hardly down to lack of effort for my part. I hadn’t smothered him but I had sent him a couple of messages and a long voicemail after their loss against Montréal. He was just wallowing in his own self pity.

From La Presse I’d been able to find out that all of the Penguins had packed up their lockers and the majority had left Pittsburgh to return home for the summer. Which meant one thing – Jordan was back in Thunder Bay. And I’m pretty sure Western Ontario had electricity and phone lines up there which really didn’t leave him with a leg to stand on. I wasn’t sure what was going on with him, but whatever it was, I was going to get to the bottom of it. I’d gone from being happy in love, to confusion, to a little insecurity to anger and then to beginning to wonder if I even cared. There are plenty of hot men in Montréal, Jordan shouldn’t think he is irreplaceable.

KPMG had been going really well so far. At the beginning I had felt that I was being fed to the sharks, the office was a cut throat environnement where everyone strove to be the best. The other workers were sharp, competitive and would do anything to be promoted. After initially being seen as ‘the new intern’ and going on coffee runs – not what I’m here to do, I had put my foot down on that after a week, I began to be given real work. Coffee runs were for the sixteen year olds here on work experience, not the top honours graduate that I am.
Having said that, I did manage to make a few new friends. The tenth floor became my home and a lot of the staff here were only a year or two older than me with their own related degrees in math or finance. I had been assigned to work in a team with three others on auditing the previous year’s accounts of a large Montréal firm. Quickly Marie-Pier, Xavier and Etienne, on my team, became my closest friends on my floor. We’d take lunch together at the bottom of Mont Royal and go for drinks after work together.

One Friday evening we’d gone over for drinks on St. Laurent which wasn’t unusual by any means. We liked to go out and have fun and let our hair down. We’re young for god’s sake. Anyway, it became quite clear to me that Marie-Pier and Xavier had quite a thing for each other, the looks, the flirtatious banter, and the brief moments stolen together by the water fountain.

“What do you think of Etienne?” Marie Pier asked, as we were seated at the bar as the guys were playing a competitive game of pool. I could see what she was trying to do here, and besides I had Jordan, if you could call it that. Even if I didn’t, Etienne was the last thing I wanted with his curly brown hair and his artsy fartsy geek glasses which weren’t fooling anyone. He’s nice enough, he’s just not my type.

“Really?” I asked, taking a sip of my rosé. I thought I knew Marie-Pier better than this, than have her try to set me up.

“Et pourquoi pas?” Marie-Pier asked, looking at me, trying to figure out if I was joking or not.

“Because, I’m in a relationship,” I argued back. If you could still call it that.
Marie-Pier looked stunned. I’d never talked about Jordan and I didn’t really want to talk about him now – I was still trying to get my head around what was going on, before I could begin to explain to anyone else, whom I barely knew that well, what the current story was. I watched as she grinned at Xavier, sending him a little flirtatious wink as she sipped her cocktail.

“Well, boyfriend or not Ella, you deserve to have some fun,” Marie- Pier said, her gaze focusing on Etienne.

“Maybe, but let’s forget about Etienne,” I said, trying not to look at him. I really didn’t want him to think I had the hots for him or anyone else in our office - that would make the next two months super awkward and I really didn’t need that.

___________________________________________________________________________________


As I sat on the warm, stuffy metro back home, feeling ever so slightly tipsy I let my mind drift back to what Marie-Pier had said. Watching Marie-Pier with Xavier reminded me of what I was missing out on. Sure, I deserve to have fun, and you can have a lot of fun in Montréal, as I knew from my last year in high school. I decided to ring Jordan when I got home and see exactly what was going on.
I walked the few roads home in the late evening sunshine, thankful it was still light and planning out exactly what I wanted to say to him. I didn’t want our conversation to be awkward though it was likely it would be as we haven’t spoken for a month.

I scrolled through my blackberry down to Jordan’s name and pressed ‘Call’. After about seven rings the phone was answered.

“Hello?” a girl’s voice answered.

I knew it. Cheating bastard. And that voice was definitely not Linda’s.

“Just tell Jordan Ella called, goodbye,” I hung up absolutely furious I had even bothered to call him. And he was stupid enough to let another girl answer. What an idiot.

Five minutes later my phone rang again. Frowning I looked at the screen. He had the
cheek to ring me back. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what grovelling excuse he had to give me, but part of me was curious. Eventually curiosity got the better of me.

“You’ve got some nerve,” I said.

“Ella, hello, how are you? And what you talking about?” Jordan’s cool voice came from down the line.

“The girl?” I questioned.

“Tanya, Eric’s wife. I was outside with Eric and Jared,” he answered. “She heard my phone ringing.”

“Oh, oops.” I felt like a class idiot now. Tanya was family to him - I felt guilty I’d almost accused of him cheating.

“So why were you calling?” Jordan asked. And it’s nice to speak to you too.

“Well,” I began. “What are we? I don’t know if this is the right thing for us, I’m not sure I can do this. I love you, and I think I always will, but I can’t do this. This. I can’t do this long distance relationship thing if we’re pretending to be in one. I mean I’ve barely heard from you since you left Pittsburgh. This, it doesn’t feel like we’re in a relationship if we’re not talking to one another.”

“Is that what this is about?” Jordan said, the tone of his voice showing his evident frustration.

“Yes. And relationships take effort and time and communication,” I went on, not sure if it was me or the alcohol talking. Whichever it was, it needed to be said. “Which is why I think we should take a break if we can’t make the effort.”

“But I love you,” Jordan said. That’s only making it harder for me to say all of these things. I felt my stomach clench as I knew I loved him too. I always would. It’s hard for me to walk away from this knowing he still loves me too. How hard it was for me to say all of these things. I wasn’t one hundred percent sure as to why I was doing this to him, and to me, but it felt sort of right. And there’s one thing my insane therapist for a mother has instilled in me – ‘Always stick with your gut instinct.’ And my gut was telling me to call this relationship off even if my heart was screaming at me to fly out to Thunder Bay to be with him, something my head was telling me not to, that I’d lose my internship.

“And I love you too, which is why it’s so hard for me to do this. I don’t want to, but I think it’s for the best.”

“And what about what I think?” Jordan said. “What if I don’t want to break up?” I closed my eyes, trying to blink back the tears as I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, willing it to bring me strength.

“Well, then you’ll have to respect my wishes on this,” I said as the tears began to fall. “Goodbye Jordan.”